tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post2324514199473892823..comments2023-11-05T04:25:39.115-08:00Comments on The 13: Chapter 1: First BloodWen The Brothershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18069509588338996666noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-91904043212350476412022-02-03T11:43:53.237-08:002022-02-03T11:43:53.237-08:00شركات تنظيف المبانى فى العين
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Take your time to rea...That is great thing to hear. Take your time to read, I do know it is rather lengthy. Hope to hear more from you!wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-8412489143896677642009-04-19T09:38:00.000-07:002009-04-19T09:38:00.000-07:00Wow. Very intereting opening for this story, I ha...Wow. Very intereting opening for this story, I have bookmarked and plan to come back when I have some more time to read the other chapters (and probably to read this one again). I espeically love how the discussion trys to explain the political implications of the moving of "warfare" from conventional towards "assissination".Suburban Survivalisthttp://www.suburbansurvivalist.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-25942515941800636782009-04-11T08:37:00.000-07:002009-04-11T08:37:00.000-07:00Thats good to hear. Imagine what it will be like a...Thats good to hear. Imagine what it will be like after full editing?wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-86347252472905750612009-04-09T11:54:00.000-07:002009-04-09T11:54:00.000-07:00I am completely hooked on this story! Your descrip...I am completely hooked on this story! Your descriptions are so intense...I can almost see the movie playing in my head. Great job! I cannot wait to read more!Nessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09551938518170492479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-2906864049401611652009-03-30T06:35:00.000-07:002009-03-30T06:35:00.000-07:00Thanks for the critique. Brilliantly done and hone...Thanks for the critique. Brilliantly done and honestly, rather humbling. Some changes definitely have to be made. I can't say I agree to all of them, but the majority of it will be taken into consideration.Would you be interested in reviewing the remaining chapters?wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-55355151857647094522009-03-30T04:47:00.000-07:002009-03-30T04:47:00.000-07:00Hi! As requested, I've done your crit. As it's q...Hi! As requested, I've done your crit. As it's quite long, I've put it here:<BR/><BR/>http://tomecity.com/smf/index.php/topic,821.msg9806.html#msg9806<BR/><BR/>I hope you find it useful.Chinarenhttp://tomecity.com/blogs/blog2.phpnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-12423007225006422692009-03-29T08:32:00.000-07:002009-03-29T08:32:00.000-07:00Looking forward to it.Looking forward to it.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-45660452732312004972009-03-29T06:41:00.000-07:002009-03-29T06:41:00.000-07:00I'll give this a good going over shortly. (Takes ...I'll give this a good going over shortly. (Takes a few days). Expect something soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-50210290313037569472009-03-09T05:47:00.000-07:002009-03-09T05:47:00.000-07:00Glad you liked it.Glad you liked it.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-38955459366949939672009-03-08T22:37:00.000-07:002009-03-08T22:37:00.000-07:00Actually this is the first story i have read from ...Actually this is the first story i have read from a blog and it was niceVishalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00896876176514745048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-25028709057079167992009-03-08T08:20:00.000-07:002009-03-08T08:20:00.000-07:00Well, I must admit that the scenes are quite simil...Well, I must admit that the scenes are quite similar. But the scene was original.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-25204155958474110012009-03-08T00:41:00.000-08:002009-03-08T00:41:00.000-08:00Your introduction up there, in Italics made me rem...Your introduction up there, in Italics made me rememebr two scenes. I dunno why such a relation but maybe if you have seen Kill Bill, about the life of the character there played by Lucy Liu or the scene of "So close" when their parents were killed.WebbieLadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12022359549820472945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-51049125058554629702009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:002009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00Haha. Its a whole new world that we have created, ...Haha. Its a whole new world that we have created, and we can't possibly describe it in its totality. But, we will definitely try our best.<BR/><BR/>Political factions and power play? Hmm... an interesting notion. The focus on the story is the characters themselves (and there are a LOT of characters) with the action sequences in a different world that we know of. That is already quite a bit, but we will see if we can put some intriguing politics in.<BR/><BR/>Do note that although this is a post-apocalyptic story, this isn't really a true-blue sci-fi.<BR/><BR/>Stay tuned!wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-54413107796163746162009-03-04T23:21:00.000-08:002009-03-04T23:21:00.000-08:00It was a riveting read :) I haven't read sci-fi no...It was a riveting read :) I haven't read sci-fi novels in a while and this definitely had the feelings of one. The above comments have already mentioned grammatical and flow problems so I'll skip those, in general though the tone you've set is engaging - at least to me! It's got a neuromancer-esque kind of feel to it (the post-apocalyptic and cyborg themes) - I'm looking forward to see how you'll develop the entire world in future chapters (haven't read the other chapters yet - political factions and power plays?)<BR/><BR/>And I do agree with one of the posters - it would've been far more enjoyable to read the whole story in one sitting! hehe :)<BR/><BR/>Keep going please! It's going to be awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-14389002498537396472009-03-04T08:39:00.000-08:002009-03-04T08:39:00.000-08:00Wow. A raving review. Thank you. As for the gramma...Wow. A raving review. Thank you. As for the grammatical mistakes, that will take some time. This chapter has been edited more times than I can count, and yet there is always some mistakes lurking. I'll get to it as soon as I can.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-67147089883447590042009-03-04T07:35:00.000-08:002009-03-04T07:35:00.000-08:00Terrific opening! The plot unfolds really nicely, ...Terrific opening! The plot unfolds really nicely, and the simplicity in your delivery speaks to the work that must have gone into this. <BR/><BR/>There are a few grammar mistakes I noticed that you should probably scan through and fix. It'll make it easier to read, and give it a bit more polish.<BR/><BR/>I haven't come across a lot of storyblogs myself, but I like the concept. I'll be sure to check out the next chapter.Editing Lukehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02260713641003376853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-33771930762097314392009-03-04T06:50:00.000-08:002009-03-04T06:50:00.000-08:00Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-55407559258381346422009-03-03T16:54:00.000-08:002009-03-03T16:54:00.000-08:00oh wow, this is the first story blog i have ever s...oh wow, this is the first story blog i have ever seen. pretty neat idea. great first chapter 1, interesting plot. ill read the rest when i have time. thanks, keep up the good work!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-34092390424178895122009-03-03T10:18:00.000-08:002009-03-03T10:18:00.000-08:00Thank you, Liza! It would help me a lot if you cou...Thank you, Liza! <BR/>It would help me a lot if you could notify me of the grammar mistakes at twj986@hotmail.com<BR/>some of the grammar mistakes like sentence structure was done on purpose to enhance the purpose of the content, so i apologise if these were the grammar mistakes you were referring to.wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-91966901170732147242009-03-03T03:17:00.000-08:002009-03-03T03:17:00.000-08:00What an awesome beginning! I am a grammar freak so...What an awesome beginning! I am a grammar freak so I cringed just a little at each grammar mistake, but so far the plot and flow is excellent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1881662371152645983.post-85403172152416523002008-12-17T08:16:00.000-08:002008-12-17T08:16:00.000-08:00Thanks!Thanks!wjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240399374496940191noreply@blogger.com